On kindling and spelling.

It has been ages since I’ve updated this blog. It would seem that my attentions have been refocused on both my short- and long-form writings as of late. I’ve gotten back into a groove with my writing for fun and I’ve been tweeting like a madman. In my absence from this blog I made an entry into another one, about how I use my phone in class in lieu of a laptop. The comments left on that piece really make me feel warm and fuzzy inside; in a country dominated by iPhones and Blackberries it’s nice for the voices of the dedicated Nokia few to come piercing through the dark directly at my face once in a while.

Anyway.

I’ve chosen a light-hearted topic with which to slowly thaw the frigid edges of this blog. As with this blog when I originally started it, I make no promises for regularity; this post may or may not rekindle my blogging habits. We’ll see. The topic at hand today is, of course, spelling. Specifically, it’s how you spell my name.

I love my name. Elliot is not a particularly hard name to say, although watching what the people at Panera put on my receipt when I use my name is always interesting. It also seems impossible to get over the phone. When ordering food I consistently give my father’s name as it’s one syllable and there’s much less chance the person on the other end will reach for something that isn’t there.

As far as the spelling goes, there are four possible ways to spell Elliot: ELIOT, ELLIOT, ELIOTT and ELLIOTT. In the following paragraphs I will describe for you why there is only one correct way to spell Elliot and that is the way my parents so brilliantly decided to bestow upon me.

ELIOT – In order to pronounce my name, you are slurring two L’s together. This is unavoidable. The name when properly pronounced is EL-LEE-IT. It is not EH-LEE-IT. You are free to pronounce it as EH-LEE-IT but that won’t make you any more correct (and don’t think that we won’t notice). Due to the innate pronunciation of the slurred L, ELIOT cannot be right as it is lacking the proper amount of Ls.

ELIOTT – Pronouncing two Ts at the end of a word is incredibly awkward and simply isn’t done. If you aren’t going to pronounce it, let’s just not even put an extra one in. I’m all for simplicity.

ELLIOTT – This variation is simply too repetitive: two double letters on both available consonants throws the balance of the word all off. More on this in the next bullet.

ELLIOT – This, the correct spelling of the name, not only addresses the underlying pronunciation issues on both consonants but it’s also the only balanced spelling where every letter is pronounced. Six letters, three vowels and three consonants, every letter contributing to the health of the word.

To any Eliots, Elliotts or Eliotts out there, it’s not too late! You may have come to terms with the inaccuracy of your spelling but it can always be rectified if you desire.